Gene Gets the Blues
Sunday, August 24 2008 | Comments (0)
In this weeks season finale of Gene Simmons Family Jewels, Gene heads to Melbourne, Australia to meet his newly acquired football team, the Carlton Blues. Everyone is pleased to have Gene on board. Everyone, that is, except Gene. Just how does one go about losing the Blues, Gene?
This season of Gene Simmons Family Jewels ended on a bittersweet note as Gene acquired and then lost Melbourne, Australia's hard luck football team, the Carlton Blues. Bought by Gene as part of a package deal, Gene admitted to knowing next to nothing about Australian football, and flew into Melbourne with the sole purpose of unloading his newest investment. According to his life partner, the beautiful Ms. Shannon Tweed, Gene is a good businessman who tries not to let his feelings get in the way of a wise business decision. Apparently, someone tipped the Aussies off to this bit of scuttlebutt because they immediately started tugging at Gene's heartstrings. First up, player Jason Saddington met Gene with his moppet daughter in tow. The child was wearing a KISS tee shirt.
Gene countered this attack by meeting with investors who admitted that the Blues had "had a few bad years." A sports show anchor did little better when trying to pin Gene down as to whether he would hire new players or stick with older veteran types. To get a clearer picture of the team he owned Gene went to the fans themselves. The consensus of opinion from the fans: "They Suck!"
After chatting with the team manager, who assured Gene that the team needed a star player to put them in contention, he got a workout with some of the Blues team members. Afterwards, Gene was invited to a local pub for a pint or two. We all know by now that Gene never drinks. He made his feelings about drunks very clear. "They are not witty. They are not funny. They are not smart. Drinking pisses me off. I don't understand what they're talking about." As if to illustrate this point, some loon challenged a player to a brawl. Gene interceded by reminding the crew that chatting up the ladies at the bar might prove more lucrative.
Gene search for potential investors to buy him out led him to the Australian Outback and wealthy conservationist, Janine Duffy. She proudly took him on a tour of her wildlife preserve, complete with kangaroos and koalas. "How can you beat this?," she asked. "The Ritz Carlton," deadpanned Gene. Getting down to the business at hand Gene tossed out various ideas that would tie the football club in with the preserve. "They need a Brendan Fevola," countered Janine, "A star player."
Gene met with Fevola and sold him on the idea of joining the Carlton Blues. Once again, Gene's hard work as an entrepreneur paid off. Janine Duffy is now the sole owner of the Carlton Blues Football Club.
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