American Gladiators Returns!
Monday, May 12 2008 | Comments (0)
American Gladiators 2008 began with a bone shattering recap of the first season. Every sprained knee, bruised rib and painful fall was built into a montage of awesome carnage. The announcer reintroduced us to the Gladiators of last season and teased with silhouettes of three new Gladiators joining this season.
With fireworks and fanfare the contenders were introduced. First up, was a twenty five year old, five foot eight, one hundred and seventy five pound, construction worker and father of two, Randee Haynes. He attributes his highly competitive nature to his thirteen brothers and sisters. Highly motivated and energetic Randee hit the arena ready to take on any Gladiator in his way.
Next up was six foot tall, one hundred and ninty one pound police officer and swat team leader Jay Martinez. A former United States Marine, Jay was motivated by his fellow officers and his drive to challenge himself in every aspect of his life. He told the Gladiators that he respects all, but fears non, so they’d better be ready.
The first event of the night was for the guys. A new event, aptly named, Rocket Ball. Both contenders seemed ready and eager, until the Gladiators Toa and Wolf ran out from a cloud of smoke yelling and growling. Just as the name suggests, Rocket Ball is an event where contenders and gladiators are hurled into the air via a zip line attached to their backs. The goal is to shoot a red or blue ball into the baskets suspended high above the arena floor. Jay scored the first two points, but Randee was right behind him scoring just a few moments later. Both men were harassed constantly by flying gladiators eager to knock them back to earth. Fast paced and exciting, Rocket Ball was an instant hit.
Next up were the lady contenders. The first to be introduced was Elena Maskalik, a five foot, six inch tall firefighter with stunning looks and an athletic physique. A Ukraine born immigrant and survivor of Chernobyl, Elena fully understands the opportunities that life here in America has to offer and planned to take full advantage of those presented by this contest.
The other beautiful warrior to be introduced was martial arts instructor and single mother Melissa Trinidad. She owes her motivation to her six year old daughter Maliya. She felt that her small (5’1’, 111lbs) stature would work to her advantage against the gladiators since they wouldn’t see her coming. Both ladies were full of energy and fire as their first match began against gladiators Crush and Venom on the Pyramid.
The contenders attacked the pyramid using their speed (Melissa) and agility (Elena), to try to get passed the powerful gladiators. Both made a break for the scoring level of the pyramid, but the Crush and Venom were equally fast and agile. The two gladiators matched the contenders' moves with expertise and used their superior strength to throw them back to the arena floor. As the seconds ticked by, each contender tried tactic after tactic, only to find a powerful obstacle in their way every time. As time ran out, the contenders were both kept completely scoreless by Crush and Venom and left with nothing but bruised bodies.
After the painful display by the lady contenders, the guys got back into the action with Hang Tough. Randee was up first and who did he draw, non other than the most fearsome gladiator on Hang Tough, Wolf. Randee wasn’t intimidated though. He told the host Hulk Hogan, “I have seven words for you Hulk…Who’s afraid of the big bad wolf?”. Words that Wolf intended to make him eat as the race began acroos the rings suspended above a pool of water. As the match began, Randee moved fast to try to get past Wolf early and was nearly taken down, but he slipped free of Wolf’s grasp and kept moving towards the scoring side. Wolf pursed Randee relentlessly and caught him near the end. Randee held on as Wolf pulled on his arms, trying to get him to let go. The seconds ticked off as the two men struggled. As the last second ticked off, Randee lost his grip and fell into the water below. It took an instant replay for the judges to confirm that he had held on just long enough to get five points for the event. Randee celebrated by taunting Wolf on his way to the locker room.
Jay began his match with Wolf with a slightly ill conceived joke about the lord of the rings and his match didn’t get much better. He started off slowly, trying to gauge where Wolf was gonna head and inadvertently gave him time to get really close. When he finally decided on his course, it was far too late. Wolf (probably a bit TO’d by Randee’s antics) locked onto Jay with his legs, pinning Jay’s arm to his side and quickly pulled him off of the rings. When both men pulled themselves from the water, it was Wolf’s turn to taunt Jay, by dismissing any advantage Marine Corps Training had given him.
The female contenders returned with Elena battling against the undefeated Crush in Joust, a favorite event of the tournament. Crush lived up to her name by pummeling Elena about the head and shoulders and sending her into the water filled pool below. Melissa, motivated by her cute daughter in the audience, put up a fight using a wide martial arts stance, but to no avail as Crush took her out faster than the announcer could even anticipate. Still Melissa received a loving kiss from her daughter and got ready to continue.
Randee and Jay returned to face four of the Gladiators in the ever painful Gauntlet. Titan, Toa, Militia and Justice made up an imposing obstacle for any contender to face, but Jay was seriously motivated for this event. Hulk Hogan asked him how he would handle this if it were a swat team mission and Jay said, “from the time they break down the front door, the mission isn’t done till they go home. This event is the mission.” Jay then put word into action as he barreled past three gladiators in a matter of seconds and fought past the massive Titan to break down that final wall to victory.
Randee stepped up to the Gauntlet motivated but with a very nervous smile on his face. He said he was ready to race past the gladiators. He seemed ready…he wasn’t. The four gladiators proved to be an obstacle that he simply couldn’t spin past. Despite his loss though Randee still maintained a slim one point lead.
The third event for the female contenders was Assault, a Gladiator style firing range where the contenders and the gladiators hunt each other. Melissa was the first to face the mighty Hellga in this event and she moved to each weapon station, firing the sling, rifle, bazooka and crossbow with ease; All the while dodging the deadly accurate fire of the gladiator. Hellga’s aim proved to be true though as Melissa neared the final weapon that would blow the gladiator off of the platform. Melissa took a shot to the chest seconds before she reached the last station.
Elena’s run in Assault proved to be a bit more hampered by her inability to operate the weapons and slow movement from station to station. Hellga’s intimidating accuracy caused her to falter more than once and even misfire the bazooka back at the cameraman. Ultimately the slow pace cost her as she ran out of time before reaching the final button. Still she racked up as many points as Melissa, simply by firing the weapons, however inaccurately.
Randee and Jay both returned to face Titan and Justice in the Pyramid. Randee looked a bit intimidated by Titan, so Jay tried to pump them both up just before the match. Jay tried a couple of really agile moves and twice nearly scored, but the gladiators again proved to be more than a match for the contenders in this event. Both men left scoreless and battered.
The beautiful and pregnant Laila Ali introduced the final event for the female contenders…The Wall. Although Melissa was the smaller more wirey contender, Elena was favored in this event because of her experience as a fire fighter. The two ladies would be the first to face this newly altered obstacle and to make matters worse Melissa would be facing the gladiator that knocked her off of the Pyramid, Venom. Elena drew the mystery gladiator, a winner of last year’s American Gladiator, the contender gladiator…Jet. Both ladies moved quickly up the wall with the gladiators right on their heels. The gladiators closed the distance faster than expected and were literally pulling at the heels of the contenders in seconds. The ladies neared the top of the wall at about the same time, but as Elena pulled herself over the top, Melissa lost her grip and fell to the chilly water below, taking Venom with her. This left the score at 14 Elena, 4 Melissa, giving Elena a full five second head start going into the Eliminator.
The male contenders began their Eliminator first though with Randee maintaining his slight lead, giving him a mere half a second head start on Jay. Both in the water within a second of each other, they were neck and neck through the underwater swim (longer than first season’s). As they reached the net, Jay ran into some definite trouble and fell behind. Randee power through the rope swing, bicycle, all the way to the zip line, while Jay faltered on the swing rope. Randee slipped and nearly fell backwards on the treadmill, but held on and finished first. The crowd continued to cheer as Jay kept going till he finished.
The female contenders had a bit of a different start with Elena leading by a full ten points, she would enjoy a five second head start. Both made the underwater swim with little effort, but both stuggled on the cargo net. They reached the top at the same time and traversed the tight rope neck and neck. Elena fell off of the hand bike, giving Melissa and opportunity to take the lead. She pushed past the balance beam, but both stalled at the treadmill. They both fought exhaustion trying to get up the treadmill many times, only to fall again and again. Elena seemed to give up, but Melissa dug deep and finally made it to the top and claimed victory.
And that was just the first hour…
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